Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
