Yo dont text me then not text me
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
oh god was she eating orange peels again
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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