dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
