I wanna bring you to show and tell
sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
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