it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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