just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
