drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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