my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Randomize
