Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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