why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
