There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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