i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
its not stalking. its research.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
