The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
