I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Its about making memories worth repressing
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
