How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
