we're blogging at a bar
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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