We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Randomize
