Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
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