i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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