Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
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