I saw his package. It spoke to me.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize