just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Randomize
