I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
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The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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