ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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