So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
Randomize
