so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Randomize
