glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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