dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
I can text with my tongue
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Randomize