I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
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