it was like eating out sand paper
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
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