Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
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