you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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