Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
