I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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