I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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