Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
