It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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