Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
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