Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
