there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
