all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Hippo gnu deer
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
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