Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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