Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
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