I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Randomize
