She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
the liver wants what the liver wants
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
