Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I am available for nakedness
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
