best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I'm too high and old for this...
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
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