This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
