Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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