I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
