I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Where is the hickey?
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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