I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
