So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize