; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize