just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
