So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
