One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
