Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
so let's talk penis.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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