I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Randomize
