Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
