she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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