There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Randomize
