I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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