Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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