Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
its liver damage thursday
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
