piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
These tits shall not be calmed
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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