There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
