I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
