So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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