when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
