Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Randomize
